Sunday, February 22, 2015

Deep Waters- Part 2

I wrote this blog back at the end of November and in it I talked about how I felt like I was barely treading water.  Since then a lot has happened some of which I have touched on here and some of which I have alluded to.  So- this is kind of a catch up post along with a couple of thoughts regarding those deep waters.

- I have not had hardly any heel pain whatsoever- some stiffness every once in a while but I haven't been wearing shoes much this week (more on that in a few)

- I went on a mini getaway to Gatlinburg which was to help me find time to think and pray about God's direction which led to...

-It's time to share- I have talked to the people who needed to know so I am free to do so.  Part of this journey I have been on with trusting is going to be lived out over the next several months.  I am planning on leaving the job I have had for the last 10 years, leaving the city I have lived in for 20 of the last 22 years, and at the age of 40, possibly moving back in with my parents until I find a new job or figure out where God is leading me.  I am working on my licensure for Indiana and Ohio but am not confining myself to the education world.  Quite honestly- I am tired, my body is tired, my brain is tired and I need to get my groove back- so if that means taking a step away from teaching for a while then I know that God will provide.  I will be honest- I am SCARED to death.

-We had a week of snow and ice, bookended by the flu the weekend before and a stomach bug the weekend after.  And during that week of snow and ice-3 power outages.  1 was 4 hours (before the snow and ice), one was 29 hours (during the snow and ice- it was cold) and one was 1 hour that was in the midst of the coldest night of the winter.  Of course that meant that I had a week to work on things- I should have worked on packing (didn't) but I DID work on lots of rest, reading, and when I had power- working on the licensure information that I needed.

So- back to that fear- I am doing a 40 day challenge for Lent- it's a reading challenge and it's reading through the Gospels.  My friend Angela and blogging friend Brooke are also participating so that's kind of fun and I love the accountability from their posts on FB.  Now, I will admit that I used today (Sunday) to play catch up.  And I read Matthew 8:

23 And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. 24 And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. 25 And they went and woke him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” 26 And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. 27 And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?”

And I immediately went back to my thoughts of how I felt like I was drowning and the fear that I have with all of the changes going on in my life.  Verse 26 jumped out at me and I felt like he was standing in front of me asking me that exact question.  If I say I am going to trust- then I NEED to trust- regardless of the storms going on around me and in me.  Regardless of my fear- I need to trust that the man who can tell the winds and waves to be still and they obey can tell MY winds and waves to be still and they will.

Then- I "happened" across this article and realized that God is definitely trying to get my attention and wants me to fix my eyes on Him


Bill (cycleguy) said...

"Regardless of my fears I need to trust Him." That is it right there!

Brooke said...

Love that Song and it's so true! I got to see them perform at winter jam.
His will is sometimes scary, but it he right call. I'll be praying for you as you take the first steps!

Angela Stolpe said...

We put our trust in a lot of things…. But, His are always the greatest. I know you have a grand adventure in front of you. I continue to pray He lights your path every step of the way. Faith is an incredible journey and will bless you abundantly. Keep your eyes on Him and not the storm and He will see you through. One thing my running coach always tells me is to look up, keep your eyes on the goal. When we are looking down at our feet, we can't see where we are going. Keep your eyes on the prize, look up and you will see all He has planned for you.