Sunday, November 30, 2014

Deep Waters

Yep, that's what I feel like I am in right now.  Water so deep that I am barely treading water.  Physically, mentally, emotionally, and yet, not spiritually.  Could it be better?  Of course, it always can but God has become the one constant in my life.  He has literally been my rock.

The waters have been deep:
Physically- I have lost my desire to exercise and that scares me- part of that I know is the pain in my heels (appointment is schedule for this week); I have not been eating right.  I do well for a while and then I see slow (or no) results and so I give up.  I have gained weight- it's the bottom line- I told someone tonight that I am not only back where I started 2 1/2 years ago but I am past that- now instead of x number of lbs to be in a healthy range I am at x plus 20.  I am scared, frustrated, discouraged, and disappointed- and yet- I am not alone- they are deep waters- but He is with me.

Some days the water has been deep enough that I am one wave away from going underwater and not having enough strength to break the water line again (this is not a cry for a help or a thought that I am thinking thoughts that should scare anyone).  This is where it has gotten rough mentally.

Some days the tears flow and they add to the deep water and it is as if I am alone in that great big body of water- and yet, I am not alone.  I keep going back to the verse above- and then I read the verse in context...

Life is going to happen- it says so right here- the question is- what am I going to do about it?  Am I going to live a life of faith- one that lives out this verse- one that has the Shadrach prayer in Daniel- "but even if you don't"?  Or, am I going to live a life of fear and timidity?  One that allows the worry of life take over?  One that allows the waters and waves to crash over me?  That catches me on fire as I walk through the flames?  

I know which one I want to be- you?

It's time- time to learn to swim in those deep waters instead of treading water.  Time to live knowing He is right there with me.  Time to make a plan knowing He will guide me every.single.step of the journey.  Yes, it's time...  Who's with me?


Bill (cycleguy) said...

You know I'm with you. Love you much.

Tami said...

I know- and that's all I need. Love you too!

Dawn Bedingfield said...

Tami I needed this today. I have loved this verse for many years and it has brought me comfort. But I too have been treading water, barely keeping my head up or nose in some cases, sucking down water. Letting the pressures of life get to me. I need to float, swim and let God guide me. I am on a scary journey right now and the only solution to my problems is what God has planned. Pray for me and I will pray for you. Hang tough girl.

Brooke said...

i'm a little late, but hope and pray you are finding your post-thanksgiving grove.

Tami said...

getting there- not there yet but getting there!