Merriam-Webster has a couple of definitions for the word scar- "a mark remaining (as on the skin) after injured tissue has healed" and "a lasting moral or emotional injury"
I have several major scars on my body- the big ones are from a surgery in 2009 and a hysterectomy in 2019. But the one that catches my eye daily is one that is small, so small that if you weren't looking for it- you would just pass right over it. Each of my scars is part of my story. The 2009 surgery made life easier, exercise manageable, and helped ease weight off my back. The hysterectomy showed I had major problems that needed to be dealt with immediately- and after that surgery I said multiple times that I didn't realize how bad I felt until I didn't feel bad anymore.
But that small scar- every time I see it- I say a prayer. That scar is the one. on the inside of my wrist from my heart catheterization. That heart cath is what showed the doctors what was wrong. It showed them that overall my heart was healthy until they reached the part where the artery tore. It gave them them the information they needed to help me heal. Each time I catch a glimpse of that scar it's a reminder that God's not finished with me yet. It's a visual reminder of healing and the power of prayer.
But what about those scars that aren't visual? The ones that wreck the heart- the loss of a loved one, a word or action that cuts deep, betrayal from a friend or even family. This is where the kintsugi coming- here's this heart wrecked, shattered, and nothing left to do except surrender to the one who loved me enough to die for me- whose body bore my sin- whose wounds and scars are there to remind me of His heart, His healing. He takes that heart, pours His love into those cracks filling them up with the gold dust- that precious gold dust that holds the heart together. It creates the scar, and is a reminder of healing.
When I was googling I came across this blog post from last August that Kaitlyn Bouchillon (who in a God-incidence, came across my FB feed this past week with some posts that hit home- and I wasn't following her prior to this either- she was brand new to my feed) and this quote jumped out at me. That last line- "You're still here".
Yes, I have scars-some physical, others emotional but each time that scar catches my eye it's a reminder to stop, take a breath, say thank you and then, "okay God, use me- use my scar for your good. Help my purpose come out of the deepest hurts."