This is something I have been considering a lot- how do we know that we are really following His calling? How do I know that I am hearing His voice and not following what I "think" is His voice? How do I know when it's time? And even more- What exactly is my calling? That last one- I have kind of lost sight of but now, in the wake of shifting tides, strong currents and hurting friends and family I am feeling my heart being tugged to revisit my life, to find my calling. Can a calling change? What I think has been my calling for years seems to be changing- or maybe it was the "means" to find my true calling? Deep thoughts- maybe too deep for a Saturday night.
So, what brought this up? Just some things going on- including my INSANE schedule that has not allowed me any "me" time the last 6 weeks. So, today I took that "me" time- I had work I really needed to do but I knew that I needed this more. I had plans to go for a drive in the mountains BUT the weather did not cooperate so that has been postponed. I ended up just taking a day and doing nothing- I ran some errands, took a nap, and I read a book (on my computer since it was a library book that couldn't be downloaded to my iPad). While I was reading (this is where I admit that it was a "chick" book- a Christian/inspirational romance novel about a single girl who goes to Russia for a year to teach English) BUT I read this and knew why I chose this book from the library
(Susan May Warren- Everything's Coming Up Josey)
And then I read this and felt like I was reading the prayer I have prayed for the last few years- and while I know it's not falling on deaf ears it's not being answered the way I want it but then that makes it all about me- and it's not all about me. So, what does that mean? It means that when I pray this prayer from this point on I am going to try to remember that it's NOT about me- it's about what He wants to do THROUGH me and what will bring Him glory.
ETA: I know I have some things missing- I am heading to church but will fix them when I get home.
ETA2: They are fixed :)