Saturday, December 28, 2013

My New Year's Dream for my Single Friends

I saw this blog post on FB the other day and read it with interest- why?  Certainly not because I am married- no, I think I read it because I was curious as to what the author would say.  I read the {in}courage blog posts regularly so it wasn't anything out of the ordinary for me to read it but sometimes I skim over stuff that seems this specific.  This one I didn't.  And when I read it- THIS stuck out to me:

"Love isn’t a feeling and it isn’t in a falling; it’s in the staying during Winter’s darkest days.Lovies, if you’re in a season when all feels hopeless, please don’t give in to it.  Hang in there.  Persevere.  Get through it.  When change seems impossible, pray for the eyes to see what God is accomplishing in you during this time.
Love isn’t about your feelings; love is your decision to honor a commitment, a covenant…a King.Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad…and sometimes it’s downright ugly.
As you consider New Year’s resolutions…
as you sift though a lot of words to find your One Word…
as you continue to count 1000 gifts or list your goals for 2014…
will you plan to invest in the single most important relationship you have on this earth?" Robin Dance

At this point I had the all familiar heartache when I read that last question.  Because, I KNOW she is talking about a spouse- which I don't have, which sometimes I desire more than life itself, which sometimes just makes the heartbreak of past relationships seem as if it happened just yesterday.  But then I started thinking- as a single lady- can't I do just that?  By preparing myself for what could be in my future (because quite honestly- I don't know what God has planned for me).  So, while Robin came up with 5 ways to invest in that relationship from the married perspective- I wanted to share 5 ways to invest in that relationship from the single perspective.

1. Read- not self-help books, not "single life" books- nope- Read the only book that can truly guide you- the Bible.  Soak in the words that God has written in the ultimate love story.  Focus on who you are and WHOSE you are.  Note the promises that He has stated- LIVE those promises.  Read what makes one a godly wife- are we perfect?  Nope but we can strive to be a godly wife and create an environment that will lead others to Him.

2. Pray.  Pray for your future, with or without a spouse.  Pray for that spouse.  Pray for strength in decisions that they (and you)are making now that can affect what happens in the future.  Pray that the preparations you are making now will provide a solid foundation for the future.

3. Write.  This one may seem silly or trivial but take the time to write out your dreams.  Not necessarily a checklist of the must haves and such- but more what qualities you strive for, what you feel your purpose in life is, how you hope you and your spouse can work together in certain areas, etc.  Mandisa has a song called Praying for You- and whenever I hear it, it strikes such a cord.

4. Live.  This one may seem hard at times- after all, what are we really living for?  You know what- there's a lot to live for (more to come on this on January 1 or 2nd).  Don't just go through life on the coattails of others, if you have shipwrecked you don't just lay out on the beach working on your tan- no, you are working to be ready when the rescue comes.  So, don't just sit around- don't put things on the back burner until you find someone.  Go out and LIVE!

5. Love.  I saved the best for last.  Love?  What?  That's kind of an odd one to throw in isn't it?  Nope- not at all- in fact, without it, well, there's not much left to hope for.  Love those you are with- love those who don't seem lovable, love even when it hurts.  In loving you give the best of yourself and what can be more attractive than one who gives of themselves- wholeheartedly and serving others.

My question to ALL of my readers (single or otherwise)- do you have anything to add?


Bill (cycleguy) said...

You already know my feelings so no need to repeat them. This is a good list though I look forward to seeing what God will do in and through you in 2014. Love you lots.

Flaming June said...

What a great list, Tami! I will share it with my single daughter.