Ill-equipped or Equipped Well and just Unfinished?

Long title but it's been brewing in my mind this past week.  Actually- my original thought was just the Ill-equipped or Equipped Well but then I heard a song (which will be at the end of the post) and it needed added on (it was either that or a post all on it's own and with time I figured I better do it when I could- and all of my thoughts should go together).

As I said, I have been thinking about how I feel ill-equipped.  I have felt that way in the past- in my professional life (teaching) and my personal life but right now I feel even more so with this group fitness certification I am pursuing.  I look at myself and I hear all of the lies- and while they may have truth in them it has become the source of the words that I have to overcome. I know that I am not what you would consider the typical fitness person.  I know that I have a LONG way to go.  I know that I think part of this stems from the fact that just 4 years ago this past week I ran my first half and then things started unraveling in my life.  We are coming up on 3 years post sinus surgery and 2 years ago right around this time I came down with an unknown virus that knocked me out of commission for 2 1/2 weeks of school.  We are also coming up on the 2 year anniversary of my move.  So, in the last 4 years my life has been topsy turvy.

Anyway- ill equipped.  As I think about what that means- not having the necessary skills, tools, or means to do a job- it causes me to pause and question- WHAT in the world am I doing?  And you know what- as I look and search and seek after Him to find out the answer to that question, I realize that I am not ill-equipped.  By the world's standards?  Yes, but I don't hold to the world's standards.  By God's standards?  If I am seeking Him, if I am truly wanting to do this to be that #fitnessteachergospelpreacher (it rhymes 😀) then great.  But you know what-if nothing comes of this except for MY relationship with Him deepening or MY perspective toward food and exercise changing then it's worth every penny that I am paying.  Do I think that's where it will stop?  I actually don't- I see a HUGE need in our little community where I hope that some day I can make a difference in this way.  But, if that's in the year or two down the road future then I am good with that.

When I started thinking that way I realized I was not ill-equipped but instead I was working on equipping myself well with the those skills, tools, and the means to do a ministry.

As I continued to flesh out the question- What in the world am I doing? I realized my question was changing to- What in the world is God doing?  As I set goals, as I prepare my heart and mind for instructor training- and as I looked at those areas I felt an unsettledness- a realization that God isn't finished- that as I walk through these next several months- I feel like - no, I KNOW- God is going to continue to do some work on me.  Part of that realization came in the Week 5 of the Weigh Less 2 Feed More study I am doing (teaching this is actually part of my certification and part of where I think the starting point will be for me).  Then I heard this new song by Mandisa and felt like she was telling the story of my last 4 years.  So this- all of this...