Being Still

Lately I have felt this sense of urgency that something (or some things) needs to change.  I am like a hamster circling in his wheel over and over- doing the same things, day in and day out, with no end in sight.  There's a scene in While You Were Sleeping where Lucy (Sandra Bullock) is talking to her boss and has handed him the wedding invitation.  He asks her if she was insane and her response is: "Yes, Jerry. I'm insane. I go to work and I sit in a box like a veal. I work every holiday, I go home to a cat and now a rich and handsome man has asked me to marry him and I've said yes. OK. That makes me a total raving lunatic."

Well, other then the fact that I don't have a cat and nobody has asked me to marry him- this is how I feel.   So, lately this has been my focus.

 It's why my posts have been sporadic, and maybe a little more philosophical/thought provoking than my normal fitness related/running posts.  My time seems in high demand lately (this week alone I had an 11 hour day, a 12+ hour day, and 2 10 hour days) so the downtime I have had I have been spending it focusing on where it needs to be spent- my heart.  Unfortunately, my physical side of that has slowed down (at least this week).  I have done what I could when I can- next week my time should be different and I can do more.  All I know is that I am still working to find that balance.

So, in the meantime- I will slow down, take some time outdoors, have sporadic blogging, focus on my various relationships, LIVE, and be still just to hear what is being said.  In all of that, I hope to rediscover my joy for life (I'll be honest and admit I have been struggling with that lately). 

My funny Valentine

and I am not a fan- however, I am a fan of silly humor (is that an oxymoron?)  Anyway, I pulled a few of my favorite funny pins regarding singleness :)  On this day that I don't particularly enjoy I NEED the funny today.

I really have nothing else to say- hope they made you smile

Saying Yes- or No...

This picture has been me lately- so when I went back and reread Holley's "assignment" for the week I just shook my head and chuckled- because obviously God is trying to get my attention.  So, here goes...

Anyway, Holley's challenge was to identify the one thing/things/person/people we can say "no" to in order to head toward fulfilling our dream.  My "thing" is silly in a way- it's TV.  When I get home after a long day I tend to plop down in my chair and turn on the tv and get lost in my work.  The thing is- the tv distracts me and I end up not getting done nearly what I need to.  So, my goal, is, throughout the work week, I will not turn on the tv (other than Biggest Loser on Mondays) until I have completed what needs to be done.  The work week is the biggest thing for me- because then I leave it all for the weekend which then leads to overwhelmed and having to say no to people (friends) for lunch and such because of unfinished work (obviously I already say no to people and since the only other thing taking up time is my full time job that I can't say no to that left this "thing").  This is huge for me- and would appreciate your prayers in this.

So, as I take this next step- I just pray that this will help with the time management of my job/classes/future steps toward my dream.

Singleness and Valentine's Day (non fitness related)

Oh, if only it worked like that at this grown-up stage of life.  What works in elementary school definitely does NOT work now!  LOL :)  Seriously though- you may be wondering what this has to do with fitness, or food- and the answer is...absolutely nothing.  It does however have some to do with having a healthy life.

In 37 years I can count on one hand the number of "dates" I have had on Valentine's Day (and in full disclosure- they have been with my dad or kids I have babysat so their parents could have date night)

 Is it hard?  Sure it is- in my opinion this is the hardest day for 2 groups of people- those who are single (and not by choice) and those who are married- yet just as alone. :(  It doesn't make it easy to see couple after couple, commercial after commercial, ad after ad- all reminding you of that "one thing" you are missing.  And yet, I have learned that if one really takes a look- that "one thing" is there...

That emptiness- that feeling of despair- it's a LIE!  Again, it's hard but YOU, you my friend, are beautiful.  You ARE worth the pursuit.  You ARE loved.  Maybe not what the world considers love- but by eternal standards- I am loved beyond my wildest dreams!  Share with someone today just how much they mean to you- and do this daily- not just focused on one day of the year...

So, as you prepare for this Valentine's Day- whether single or married- remember to share love with those around you.  You will never know when your actions will be the ones to encourage someone else!

 

(and yes, I KNOW Valentine's Day is next Thursday but this was on my heart today so- today it is) :)

My Heart...

On Monday I was looking through Pinterest, watching The Biggest Loser, and going through some tags on Shazam (music app that listens to music on tv/radio to help you know what the songs are) and I felt the need to post this blog.  This blog is a few days in the making (meaning I started it Monday night and I finished it whenever it ends up published) but the one thing I felt I needed to do was share my heart.

First up- this song by Hawk Nelson- Words: Just take a peek at these lyrics (just a portion):
Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't want to say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

You can heal the heartache
Speak over the fear
God, your voice is the only thing we need to hear

Words can build us up
Words can break us down
Start a fire in our hearts
Or put it out


See! Told you :)

Second- these beautiful ladies from The Biggest Loser-not only their inspiring stories- but the words with their pictures.  By the way you can check out Abby Rike's book by clicking on her name.  AMAZING story!

And I believe the statement above is so true- it's time to lead by example- in our healthy lifestyles as well as spiritual.

YUM- I made this the other night but amended it for my dietary restrictions- instead of peanut butter I used sunbutter, white chocolate chips and splenda (I didn't have any honey and I am not a fan of honey anyway).  Goodness- it was delicious!  Next attempt I will add sliced bananas and maybe freeze it a little :)  Check out the link here!

and a funny to end the post :)  I have another post from the heart (this one regarding singleness and Valentine's Day coming up soon- it's "written" on paper and in theory just need to get it here on the computer.  I also will have a FUN (yes, I used that word) Valentine's Day post :)

5 by the 5th- February

AND run 4 out of 13 in 2013.  I had signed up for virtual 5K My Sorta Birthday 5K.  I went with the free version- mainly because I needed to do free ;).  I did get this GREAT bib and will be able to laminate it and add to the frame at a later date.  We have had some more crazy weather (snow twice this past weekend) so this was another treadmill one.  Was a little slower but I felt good after it was done.  I'm not a fast runner and I never will be (and that's okay).  For me, it is all about setting a goal and reaching that goal.  Unfortunately I did NOT get my chance to run today like I planned- I ended up with some stomach pains and not feeling well so figured I probably should not do the 6 mile run.  I have a meeting after school tomorrow and then I'll end up at Planet Fitness (which I joined last week).  I might try to do it on the Arc trainer- we will see :)  ETA: that did not happen either *sigh*

This is also my February run in my 5 by the 5th!

Dreaming- Fears vs. Faith

This week Holley asked us these questions:  What’s one fear you’ve faced when it comes to your God-sized dream?  And what’s the truth that’s bigger than that fear?

ETA: While watching Biggest Loser Monday night Jillian Michaels said something that fits perfectly, "Feel the fear- do it anyway."  LOVE that!  There will always be fear... what matters is what you do with it!

Wow- nothing like hitting where it "hurts" :).  Fear- can grab a hold and threaten to choke the life out of you OR it can make you stronger by turning your back on fear and taking holding of faith.  I guess that's what it comes down to- will I let fear grab hold of me or will I grab hold of faith?

My fear is three-fold- that I am 1) too old to make this change and 2) that I can't afford it financially and 3) that I don't really have God's direction on this.  However, I flip the table on these- 1) Why NOT now?  Why NOT before I really do get too old to make this change? 2) I have seen God provide in so many ways for me in the past- do I REALLY think He can't do this?  and 3)I know that God will close any door that is not where He wants me to be so as long as I continue walking in Him and walking through where He has placed me then I KNOW He is going to be with me.  And THAT is His truth.  I can't help but look at 1 Kings 19:11-13 (ESV):
¹¹ And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. ¹² And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper.¹³ And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

I want to listen for that whisper... 

This is a link up with Holley Gerth's series on God Sized Dreams