Monday, August 7, 2017

Mountains into Roads part 2

Here's the next part- I really wanted this mountain to have a post all of its own.  This was my most recent mountain and it is part of my current journey.

Back in January I posted this- Where I am going then in February Am I crazy

but then in February this happened: Quiet

Did you catch this at the end of that last post?  "Friday- I made the first payment for my training.  I have the extra money for the first few payments but from there- God is going to have to show up BIG time with that, the plane fare money in November, the purchase of the required reading and manuals, as well as the odds and ends that are part of the training.  And you know what- I have every faith in Him because I truly believe that this is of Him"

2 weeks ago I made the final payment.  I timed the payments with my paycheck.  Here's how it worked.  I did one fundraiser of shirts and that money paid for a total of about 75% + of one payment.  All other money- out of my paycheck.  I did change some spending habits and I had to dip into my savings twice but never for much.  It doesn't make sense- and yet, it does because of that last sentence in bold.  

My mountain was the money (and my own head) but money- whew- that's a big one. And, I know there are some going through training who are struggling finding the money to make the payments- it doesn't mean their faith is less than mine, it doesn't mean they aren't supposed to do it- it just means their journey is different than mine- their mountain turning into the road might take a bit longer or be a bit bumpier.  The only thing left to get is the air fare and I am just keeping an eye on prices and will hopefully bit that bullet in the next few weeks.  

But, guess what- I am in the midst of another mountain.  This one is a bit different.  This is the fact that school is starting and life starts getting crazy- and in 2 1/2 weeks I add in training and the work that goes with it.  This mountain consists of my head- the games and lies I have to fight through as He works to turn that mountain into the road.  The fact that I am not enough, not capable, I am not worthy of this calling, that I have issues with food and exercise to work through, that I give too many excuses, and so on.  I have been working on turning those lies into truth statements- I am not enough by myself but with Him- He is enough to take it.  I am capable and have the strength to push through because He gives me the strength. I am called because He has placed this on my heart. I do have issues with food and exercise but I believe this training is in my life to help me work through them.  

I mentioned in my previous post Part 1 about a chapter I read in Isaiah.  It's Isaiah 49 and so often we read verse 16 

and nothing else is mentioned much but this chapter is rich with truth and imagery. 

 I have been a bit "obsessed" with arrows on things- clothing, cards, rubber stamps, etc.  Which is a bit strange- I typically have never looked at them before but this summer I have started noticing them (and feathers) a bit more then I read this verse at the beginning of Isaiah 49 and my heart lifted.  

He has fashioned me into an arrow and placed me in His quiver.  And when the time is right He will load me up in the bow and shoot me out to share His love and light with others in this way He is leading me 

(that doesn't mean I don't share now- He's preparing me...)

So as God works to make my mountain of fear into a road I wait and I pray, I seek and I go, I train and I study, and I lift my eyes to the mountains because THAT is where my help comes from- He's there and He's working.

1 comment:

Bill (cycleguy) said...

I think you know how I feel. I believe if God is in something there is never lack. His timing may be a bit skewed (to my way of thinking) but it is never "off." I'm proud of you for paying off your training. Now I can't wait to see how God is going to do the rest. It will be part of your story for years to come. Love you much.