Sunday was one of those a-ha days. I have been reading the book You are Free by Rebekah Lyons and have found myself nodding my head, underlining and agreeing with things throughout the book such as:
"This means that even in our feeble weakness, if we claim Christ and his resurrection, somehow we are God's agents who carry freedom to the world." (p. 21)
"Calling is where our talents and burdens collide. Our talents are our birthright gifts, the gifts that make our hearts sing, come alive. Our burdens are found in our stories, in what breaks our hearts. God was inviting me to use the gifts that made me come alive, to redeem the things that broke my heart." (p. 50)
"We aren't responsible for the healing (or whatever seemingly impossible thing we are asking for); we're only responsible for the asking." (p. 93)
"Sometimes we ask for a healing we can see, and God offers instead a heart-healing we can't see." (p.97)
Then I came to chapters 7 and 8 and I wanted to throw the book down because as I read it became very evident that God was using these 2 chapters to make something clear to me.
See- 2 years ago I moved from Knoxville, TN (my home of 15 years plus 5 years of college) to Spencer, IN. With that move I gave up a lot. I gained things too, but the last two years I have focused on what I gave up. I was living and working here with one eye looking back to TN. After my recent vacation where I traveled to TN and GA it's been forefront in my mind again as to wondering why God brought me HERE!. Then, as I read chapters 7 and 8 (specifically the quotes in the picture below) conviction began to set in.
What did I realize? I realized that while I was living with one eye looking back to TN I wasn't truly living FULLY here. I wasn't fully letting go and now it's time.
It's time to realize that for this season of life I am in right now- Spencer, IN is where I live; Fairview in Bloomington is where I teach, OVCF is where I worship, and TN is in my rearview mirror. For right now, TN is a vacation spot- it's a state full of people and places I love, and while it will always feel like home- it's not my home. My home is where God has placed me- my home is where He is with me. It's time to live eyes forward, always searching for where He wants me serving- even if that might mean a step out of my comfort zone. It's time to let go of what was and embrace what is and give my full focus to the people and places in front of me until He tells me it's time to move on.