Sunday, October 27, 2013


I know this blog lately has been a bit of downer and seemingly chronicling my struggles but the bottom line is- I am struggling.  In all areas of my life (except spiritually- that is the part of my life that while not perfect- I am more in tune with God than I have been in a long time) I am struggling.  I fighting to find purpose in who I am and what I do.  I am fighting to keep dreaming and knowing that it's okay to dream beyond where I am.  I'm fighting to keep tears from falling on a daily basis.  I'm fighting to keep my head above water when I feel like I am drowning.  And this may be why I am more in tune with God right now- because He is all I have.  He is what I am clinging to.  He is the knot at the end of my rope that I am hanging on to. 

All this to say- my posts may be few and far between (even more so than they already have been) while I fight.  In the meantime- these have words that I cling to:

**I know this is not a typical "health" post- but sometimes real life intersects with my blogging and I just need to put it out there.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Press On...

This post has really been about a week in the making.  I have been stewing on it over and over in my mind trying to decide where I want this post to go and then some things happened (I heard a song and read a quote) that kind of brought it all together- so here goes :)

"Ride on! Rough-shod if need be, smooth-shod if that will do, but ride on! Ride on over all obstacles, and win the race!"
– Charles Dickens

This quote was in my email this morning (I looked for a pretty version on pinterest but there were none and I don't have the time to make one myself right now so...). It goes perfectly with my thoughts so I wanted to start out with it.

So, I guess the first thing I should do is to review my goals from last week and then tie it in with this post.  I was not perfect with my goals- honestly, I didn't meet any of them- BUT, I did make progress and that is okay with me.  I didn't track my food daily but I was a lot more conscious of what I was putting in my mouth.  I didn't get three days of exercise in (my car issues had a lot to do with that) and my free journaling didn't happen every day but what I did do was meaningful and came straight from my heart.  This is a long journey that I am on- it's going to filled with detours and obstacles but I am not going to let that stop me!  There will be times when the road is closed and I need to take the longer way around.  There will be times when it slows due to an obstruction in the road and I may have to get out and remove said obstruction.  There will be times where, just as in driving, I am going to come to a standstill.  I can't do anything except keep my eyes focused ahead and be ready to move when traffic/life starts up again.  

Now, what got me to this post was the song Press On by Mandisa- here are some of the lyrics but you can see all of them HERE:

When I can hear the voice of doubt
Inside my head, screaming loud
Strengthen my faith, and help me say
Today, today

I will follow, I will press on
Even when the walk feels long
Your hands hold me together
Your love is with me forever
Through the broken, through the victory
I will praise You through it all
And run hard ‘til the race is done
I, I’m gonna press on, press on
I’m gonna press on, press on

This song has been extremely timely as I have "restarted"/picked back up this journey.  She has the version shown here but then she also has a faster/running version of the song (sorry dad, I know it's not your cup of tea but it's a great song).  

So- as I begin another week- I have my eyes looking forward, no looking back.  My goals are simple- continue last week's goals and add one more- no fried foods- NONE!  I have a tendency to allow myself one or two- I am putting a stop to that for this week.  I have a "plan of attack" for the week so I should definitely reach my exercise goal and plan to take that "me" time this week every night!  


Saturday, October 12, 2013


This post has been started about a hundred different ways in my head this week but today I am finally putting words to "paper".

Today while I was running I was struggling.  I listen to music while running (but not with headphones) so my mind tends to think through things.  Today, my mind pinged from friends dealing with various struggles (financial, personal, and medical) to my singleness and my desires for that to change (and how to do so) to my health coaching, to my plans for the day, and lastly, why running/exercise/nutrition have been such a struggle for me lately

That last one- something clicked today- I realized why I was struggling more so with my running than a year ago.  Reality check #1- I lost about 30 lbs but since May I have gained about 20 of them back.  The interesting thing is- I still have people telling me I look great.  I don't feel great.  I can tell every one of those 20 lbs have come back. 

So, what has changed?

My eating- I got very lax in my eating habits.  I quit tracking my food.  I have eaten foods that I should not be eating.

My exercise- I still have not established a consistent routine- I MUST do this- my stress level has been ridiculously high (higher than ever before).  I am watching my fatigue level, my weight, and my naps increase.  At the same time, I am watching my healthy habits, my "me-time" and my exercise decrease- both in quantity and quality.

I NEED, for the sake of my health (and those around me) to get back on track and take back my health one step at a time- so my first step is to set one goal per week in each area. 

My nutrition goal for this week is simple- to track my food intake.  If I can get back on track with this- I turly think I will see results.

My "me-time" goal for the week- take 15-20 minutes per day to just free journal.  This is on top of my Quiet Time- no computer, no iPad, no phone!  Just me, a pen, and a notebook.

My exercise goal this week- this week will be crazy!  Monday, I will be picking up my car (had to have body work done).  Tuesday- I will pack and Wednesday- Sunday will be spent out of town (wednesday is a work and travel day).  So- my goal- to exercise 3 times this week- I will have to use the treadmill at least once, possibly a dvd and a run while in Ohio.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Walk the Talk

If I am going to work with others to take the steps on their journey then I need to walk my talk- and honestly, I haven't been walking my talk.  I eat clean at work and then not at home.  I talk about exercise with some and then end up sitting at home.  I "preach" at others about work and stress and then carry mine home.  I'm sensing a theme here....

So, if I am going to walk my talk then I need to have some strategies/solutions in place.
1. Have healthy snacks ready to go- this is my biggest downfall- it's so easy to fall in the trap of processed snacks (which are not ALWAYS a bad thing to have on hand) or worse- the chips (um... Trader Joe's Olive Oil Kettle Chips are amazing- and not necessarily as bad since it literally has three ingredients- olive oil, potatoes, and salt but it's the portion control issue...)

2. Get a plan for exercise and stick with it.  I keep going back to the pin and quote I have seen:

3. This is going to be a big one for me- leave work at school- I'm adjusting- I'll be taking specific days and parking myself at school to get work done.  One will be Monday- when we don't have meetings until about 4:30 and one will be Wednesdays until about 4:45.  Both of those days there are classes at the gym to participate in.  My plan is to get the bulk of my planning done at school so that I can enjoy my time at home, so I can get caught up and stay caught up on my health coaching modules, so I can get things done at home that need done, and more importantly- something teachers don't always get to do- separate my work and my home life.  I need this for my sanity.  I know that every week will not be perfect and it may end up being a play it by ear from week to week.  But, what I do know, is that I am not enjoying my life as much as I should and it comes down to this- through the years I have made my life all about my work- I am at a state in life that I want to ENJOY life- that I need to acknowledge- out loud- my life is more than a lesson plan...

A lot of bloggers are participating in 31 days of.... (choose their topic). I don't know that I have 31 days worth of "stuff' to tie in (no comment dad!) but I think this month of October is going to be all about being real- October is a time for people to put masks on- I say this October needs to be a time for me to take my mask off.  To be real, to be healthy, and to take this journey- one step at a time!