Monday, August 7, 2017

Mountains into Roads part 2

Here's the next part- I really wanted this mountain to have a post all of its own.  This was my most recent mountain and it is part of my current journey.




Back in January I posted this- Where I am going then in February Am I crazy

but then in February this happened: Quiet


Did you catch this at the end of that last post?  "Friday- I made the first payment for my training.  I have the extra money for the first few payments but from there- God is going to have to show up BIG time with that, the plane fare money in November, the purchase of the required reading and manuals, as well as the odds and ends that are part of the training.  And you know what- I have every faith in Him because I truly believe that this is of Him"


2 weeks ago I made the final payment.  I timed the payments with my paycheck.  Here's how it worked.  I did one fundraiser of shirts and that money paid for a total of about 75% + of one payment.  All other money- out of my paycheck.  I did change some spending habits and I had to dip into my savings twice but never for much.  It doesn't make sense- and yet, it does because of that last sentence in bold.  

My mountain was the money (and my own head) but money- whew- that's a big one. And, I know there are some going through training who are struggling finding the money to make the payments- it doesn't mean their faith is less than mine, it doesn't mean they aren't supposed to do it- it just means their journey is different than mine- their mountain turning into the road might take a bit longer or be a bit bumpier.  The only thing left to get is the air fare and I am just keeping an eye on prices and will hopefully bit that bullet in the next few weeks.  

But, guess what- I am in the midst of another mountain.  This one is a bit different.  This is the fact that school is starting and life starts getting crazy- and in 2 1/2 weeks I add in training and the work that goes with it.  This mountain consists of my head- the games and lies I have to fight through as He works to turn that mountain into the road.  The fact that I am not enough, not capable, I am not worthy of this calling, that I have issues with food and exercise to work through, that I give too many excuses, and so on.  I have been working on turning those lies into truth statements- I am not enough by myself but with Him- He is enough to take it.  I am capable and have the strength to push through because He gives me the strength. I am called because He has placed this on my heart. I do have issues with food and exercise but I believe this training is in my life to help me work through them.  

I mentioned in my previous post Part 1 about a chapter I read in Isaiah.  It's Isaiah 49 and so often we read verse 16 

and nothing else is mentioned much but this chapter is rich with truth and imagery. 

 I have been a bit "obsessed" with arrows on things- clothing, cards, rubber stamps, etc.  Which is a bit strange- I typically have never looked at them before but this summer I have started noticing them (and feathers) a bit more then I read this verse at the beginning of Isaiah 49 and my heart lifted.  


He has fashioned me into an arrow and placed me in His quiver.  And when the time is right He will load me up in the bow and shoot me out to share His love and light with others in this way He is leading me 


(that doesn't mean I don't share now- He's preparing me...)

So as God works to make my mountain of fear into a road I wait and I pray, I seek and I go, I train and I study, and I lift my eyes to the mountains because THAT is where my help comes from- He's there and He's working.


Sunday, August 6, 2017

Mountains into Roads


Have you ever been hit over the head by a verse?  Then you go and read the whole chapter and know that it's the place to sit and meditate on for a while?  This happened to me this week.  I was reading in my Streams in the Desert devotional and came across this one on Wednesday- I have parked in Isaiah 49 for the current time.

Stream in the Desert- August 2

This devotion has this verse at the top and as the focus and as I really began to read through it I began to really take the words to heart and think maybe it's time to tell my story- in one place.  The thing about a story that hasn't been finished is that it's constantly evolving and being added on to.  It's been a while since I have told my story so it's time- sit back, grab a cup of coffee/water/tea/etc and take a gander at where I have been and where I am going and those mountains that have been turned into roads.




Mountain #1- We have to start the story by wandering back to November of 2008- Thanksgiving week I ended up sick and had an allergic reaction to a medication.  A week later I ended up with some horrific pain where I could barely drive.  It went away after several hours but I still pondered that pain.  It was the first time I had ever experienced that level of pain.  A week after that I had a routine dr appt for bloodwork and all that jazz.  I mentioned it to her and she ran some tests.  They concerned her enough she got me an appt for a CT scan because she thought I had had a kidney stone.  I went for the CT scan and one week before Christmas she brought me in and told me she was referring me to a urologist because in both of my kidneys were lots of stones.  She told me that she didn't know what he would want to do but there was a chance that I could lose a kidney- I was in denial pretty much all of Christmas break and then in January 2009  I went to that urologist and found out that he's a specialist for a reason 😉.  I was diagnosed with Medullary Sponge Kidney which basically means that my body makes stones in the spongey part of my kidney- sometimes they pass, sometimes they stay where they are.  And, if they pass I may not always realize it because of size.  It's fairly rare and supposedly I was born with it (there's not a LOT of research on it and there's a lot of conflicting information but what I can tell you is that I have it "easy" compared to others with this disease). So knowing that he wanted me to cut back on several foods including nuts and chocolate (boo).  I did well with this and had 2 more painful stones pass in 2010- one in June and one in December.

Road #1- I saw my body respond well to the change in diet except for the two stones and things went along well for a while.

Mountain #2- 2011-2012- in 2011 I had a bulging disc all summer and into the fall and then in 2012 Stress levels were high- so high the district I was in had the school nurse checking my blood pressure every week because it flagged at a school wellness thing they did.  My doctor kept an eye on it as well and in June 2012 I had a variety of things happen all at once.  I went hiking with a friend and saw pictures of myself.  I was so discouraged by what I saw that I knew it was time to make some changes.  At the same time my doctor finally told me it was time to go on blood pressure medicine.  I was discouraged and so frustrated by the whole thing that I began a new journey.

Road #2- this bp issue then led me to begin running, spinning, and taking my health serious (this is important to the future story). I began running 5K's and fell in love with exercising.  I made my health a priority- even after school started. This is big because in 2011 I had that bulging disc and I was told I would NEVER run.

Mountain #3- In 2013 I wanted to take my love of healthy living further and found The Institute for Integrative Nutrition but the cost was a HUGE mountain.

Road #3- BUT God- He provided through a generous gift from someone anonymously and I began studying in May 2013.


Mountain #4- it's strange to say but my mountain then sort of came about because of IIN- while I was learning and taking away so many things I also lost sight of what worked and weight started slowly coming back on- then I had some physical issues that were challenging and eventually led to sinus surgery in 2014.  That mountain is the weight that I have put on.

Road #4- While I would love to say that the mountain has completely become the road- it would be a lie- it's still an uphill battle with my weight day in and day out.  I know what worked for me before and you would think well it should be a no-brainer BUT I became a slave to calories and while physically I was healthier- it messed with my head so I have to approach it a bit different.

Mountain #5- Professional stress which took its toll physically (there's not a lot to say here so...)

Road #5- I moved- got a new job- still have some professional stress but it's different.

AND- since this has gone on long enough- I'm going to stop here and address Mountain #6 in my next post (and I'll write it right now).